The Day I Became an Honorary Police Officer

I have the coolest story for you guys. Like omigoodness. K, so yesterday I worked until 1 pm. I left, and headed to my boyfriend's place, because we were planning to hang out. I noticed a luxury van (what an oxymoron) in front of me swerving hard core. It kept speedingm slowing, slamming on the brakes, swerving between the lanes. Then he hit the curb and almost flipped the van. When he switched lanes I noticed he kept rubbing his face and was sort of hunched over. The whole car was shaking from him. He kept rifling through the car for things. Using my Onstar emergency button, I called the police because I thought this fellow was having some sort of stroke or related medical emergency. And it was so cool, because the police told me to keep following him! A total Kramer moment, getting to follow him as he drove crazily through the neighbourhoods. Anyway, the police finally tracked us down (thanks to my uber amazing GPS and direction giving). They pulled him over and chatted with him.

I had to wait for quite a while, and then I gave up and asked the police if I could leave. They took my information and informed me that this man was not having a stroke. He was WAIT FOR IT......  .......  ...... strung out cocaine. OMIGOODNESS!!! So crazy right??? How does that even happen to someone who owns a minivan?

But yes, I like to think I was an honorary police officer for the 15 minutes I tailed him. And it was awsome. Well at least until I just wanted to get it over with and get to my boyfriend's hehehe.

Robyn Fail

I am a failure. A customer at work today told me to suck his dick. What should I have done? Told him where to go. Instead my jaw dropped, and I started blinking like I had dust in my eye. As soon as he was gone I fled to the washroom and cried cuz it's been one of those days. Now, I am thinking that I am way too emotional and need to find some way to express my emotion without tears.

Naturally, my first impulse was violence. Now, seeing as how that is generally frowned upon in our society, I am going to modify it. Archery! My boyfriend took me and it was so much fun. So I am going to hone my craft. Then, next time some wise-ass decides to be a douche, BAM!!!!! Arrow through the cornea! WHAT NOW BIATCH?!?!?!?!?!?! 

PS... today I am decided upon education. 

Not so Mid Life Crisis

Holy Moses folks, life is crazy. I've had a not so mid-life crisis. Not like "who am I, what am I doing here?" but more like "wtf is this bs that I must go through every day, do I choose nursing or education, and why am I always nauseated?" It isn't really that crazy I spose. For the record, I have chosen nursing for now. Anyway, my whole mental battle has been made worse by my intense/stupid/angering/hectic job, my own expectations for the summer, and my obsessive worrying about day to day events. Anyways, I am back, with a mostly solid head on my shoulders and am ready to bestow my opinions and stories upon you once again.

So, for those of you who, like me, waited with bated breath for the Resort Chanel show, you were prolly not let down. I know I wasn't. I was head over heels in  love. One of my favourite Chanel lines to date. First of all, we saw a sort of new color palette. Although the last resort collection also used pastel colors, they were alot more vivid. They also consisted more of yellows and pinks, where this time round we're seeing more washed out violets and aquas and light fuschias which were just so stunning.

I also liked that despite an ever evolving "in look" Mr. Lagerfeld presented us with some traditional, classicly cut pieces like the tweed suit. It is a trademark Chanel item, and yet it is current and so chic; updated with the new colors, and the updated accessories.

On the opposite side of that coin, we were presented with some new looks from Chanel; we saw alot more denim in this line than most others. It showed up in vests, jackets, bottoms, and dresses. Although it is a fabric rarely used by Lagerfeld, he made it classicly Chanel also.

This last piece was another one of my favourites. It is just so adorable. A little retro, a little new, alot stylish, and as always, pushing the bill. I think it sort of summarized everything I loved about this show and Chanel in general.

I sort of feel like the tides are shifting ever so slightly in the design house. Just the way this line and the last few have come out. I feel like something is changing a little bit. I'm excited to see what lies ahead but nervous too. I had the weirdest thought the other day; what if the changed feeling in the last few lines is because Lagerfeld has a new protege? While most of our beloved designers have lead healthy long lives, Lagerfeld is no longer a 40-something. What will happen when he's gone? There is a nice panicky tid bit for you. I know that one has spooked me a great deal.

Anyway, have a great Victoria Day weekend!



Long Weeks

Hi guys! I am sorry I have not blooged in forever. It was exams, then car issues, then I had to put my dog down which was super hard. Anyway, I am back and ready to go. I am done school for the summer, so hopefully I should get a lot of blogging done. This post will be short as I am at work and don't have my awsome pics to blog on. But I will ask you to review Rihanna's style choices the past few months and ask yourself this question; "WTF?!?!"  That is all for now.

An Ode to Bieber

An Ode to Bieber

Oh Justin Bieber I hate you

Your songs, they are so bad.

The only thing even mildly comparable,

Is walking naked into grad.

Your face, your hair, your clothes,

You're such an ugly girl.

Your voice, your shoes, your body,

You make me want to hurl.

You think you're so amazing,

You think you call the shots.

In fact you're just a dummy,

The only thing you deserve is snot.

Jus because you're famous,

Is not the reason I'm hating.

Indeed your status in this world,

Is the only thing in which you have rating.

There are so many instruments,

In which with talent you play.

Instead you shimmy and dance around,

And now are seen as gay. 

Oh Justin, of course you're from Canada,

Us northerners have no more hope.

You have forever tarnished our name,

Why are you such a dope?

With one last word I will end this poem,

For popular you are indeed.

However I think its better for everyone,

If you would disappear on a noble steed. 

Fashion Tips for Students

Here are my be all end all (LOL) tips about makeup, hair, and clothing for a student!!

1. If you`re going to wear heels (of any style), DO NOT use a backpack. You will be hanged.

2. In relation to 1, heels in general are way too high maintenance at school. Wear flats or sneakers!

3. As with any other situation, never ever ... EVER wear crocs.

4. Sweats are unacceptable unless you are working out or a Phys Ed. student.

5. Stains of any kind on a garment are wholly unacceptable.

6. No one ever went wrong wearing jeans.

7. Make sure your clothes fit. Not too tight, too big, too short, or too long.

8. Don`t bleed a dead animal; if your clothing is past its prime, garbage it.

9. Cutesy bags are just that; cutesy bags. When it comes to carrying around books, beverages, etc., make sure you have a reinforced bag.

10. Pay attention to length. Make sure your skirts and shorts aren`t too short. Noone wants to see your underpants.

11. Back-combing is done. NO one wants to see your over-dyed, too fried hair all up like a bird`s nest. YUCK. GO with your natural hair, or a low maintenance style that will last ya through the day

12. School is crazy, but it is no circus; low key makeup is nice. Less is more! The days get stressful and its sometimes nice to rub your eyes without a follow up trip to the powder room to tidy it up. 

Beauty Must Haves

So, I know I don't post like any pictures of my clothes or makeup or stuff, but Ima tell ya some of my favourites. This is the stuff I use every single day. It always makes me look cute even on my worst days!

This is my favourite Lancome blush in Subtil. It is so so gorgeous. It always gives my cheeks the pick me up I need when I first wake up.

Lancome eyeliner! In Brown Coffee!! Get one!!! It will change your life. Honestly it will. It goes on so so smooth and stays on flawlessly all day. It comes off really nicely too. You don`t have to clean it all out of your lashes.

This is my heavy hitter. No amount of crcazy weather affects me as long as I carry this around. I also put it under my lipstick and it makes it last longer. So necessary. Perfect when you`re sick too; jus dab a bit under your nose and it makes sure ya don`t chap up.

This is my all time favourite mascara. The formula is amazing. I prefer it to both my Lancome Definicils and my Diorshow. I kid you not. It is so fantastic.

This is my trusty busty Mac eyeshadow in Rice Paper. I brush it over the lid and into the corners, and it brightens me up.

My final team member! Bobbi Brown matte lipstick in Sandwash Pink. So so beautiful. Perfect color for me. So good.



Colton Dixon

Alright, so I am embarrassed to admit this, but I am an American Idol fan. My absolute fav this season is Colton Dixon.

No, it's not his looks that make me dig him, its his voice. He is absolutely amazing. He sounds so good and gives me a sort of Jon Foreman Matt Nathanson-esque vibe. Regardless, I am a mondo fan. He did Billy Joel's "Piano Man" and I was absolutely shocked with how awsome it was. Here is a link! Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qnkasvq0LgM

Gooooood News Ladies!!!!

Prepare yourselves ladies... maybe use the washroom quickly and sit down.

Maroon 5's Adam Levine is now single!

Unleash yourselves!



Totally Looks Like

Scotty McCreary has an ok voice, but I cannot watch him perform. He looks like Mad Magazine's Alfred Neuman!!!!!! Look!!!

This disconcerts me a great deal! Lol



ACM Wardrobe Issues

3 Photos, 3 Issues

There aren't even really words. This is just digusting. GET A BRA, HOE!!!!!

The best way to present yourself asd a gift isn't to have the bow sewn into the dress...

Her dress needs acne medication!!!



This is Me!

I started this blog three years ago. I have 4 faithful readers, and although I have shared some personal stuff, I remain mostly a mystery (ok so that's a slight embellishment but I like how it sounds.) So, Ima tell you about me!

This is me... 18.5 years ago

This is me now. No, I'm not purple hehehe.

I'm a 20 year old 3rd year Biological Sciences major at the University of Alberta. I'm heavier than I'd like, but every day my boyfriend teaches me ways to find things to feel better about.

My favourite shoes are my olive Toms, and I wear jeans with everything.

I love dissecting dead things, and I love looking at ready to wear collections. 

I work at a car dealership as a receptionist. I'm popular with some, loathed by others, but I suppose its like that anywhere. 

I can't rollerblade. Here is proof:

On the best of days, my hair doesn't do anything I want it to:

I still have my stuffed chicken from when I was a baby.

Her name is Kiki, and anyone that loves me knows I will never ever get rid of her. She smells like a downy sheet, and hasn't actually been washed in over a decade.

My room is my sanctuary. I won't post pictures cuz it's too private hehehe.

My most important people are my family and my boyfriend. 

Here is my family and I at my favourite place on earth, McLeod River.

Here's a close up of me and sister. She is one of 3 people that can completely understand me without me having to say a word.

The second is my boyfriend. Here is us:

Here is the third... not actually a person.

This is my dog, Duke. The face tells ya everything you'll need to know about him. He's a dummy. But he's adorable.

My favourite blog, as you all know is Hyperbole and a Half. My favourite shows are The Big Bang Theory and Battlestar Galactica. My boyfriend sent me this illustration and it made me so happy lol.

I am Über sentimental. This is the rose my boyfriend gave me on Valentine's Day:

It doesn't take a calendar to tell you I've been nurturing it a while. 

I have every note, picture, card, and gift my boyfriend has ever given me. I save some of his texts, and I lay in bed sometimes just thinking about the next time we will get to be together.

Another of my hobbies is one my boyfriend and I share; film going. In our almost 2.5 years of dating we have seen 49 films together (and may I say he's paid for almost every single one). I finally have a person that watches a film for more than explosions (no offence family).

My favourite musical artists are Taylor Swift, Adele, and Switchfoot. Music is so much a part of me; people say that so much, and yet not a moment goes by without a song in my head. I can pick a song out for every single moment in my life.

However sensitive I have made myself sound, I am also a bit ruthless. I am direct, sarcastic, cynical, prone to anger, and occasionally antagonistic. My inner filter is either missing or broken, and my opinions, though painfully honest, are not always what you want to hear. Mocking people aways makes me cheer up, which is really a sad sate of affairs so I try to keep it to celebrities. I am loyal to a fault, and if you mess with someone I really care about, you will walk out the door with your ass in your hands. 

Finally, I am not what your stereotypical fashion blogger looks like. I am not skinny, I'm not petite. I can't afford super expensive clothes, and sometimes I wear huge sweatpants at home. I don't wear heels, I abhor tights, and if socially acceptable, I would wear an easy top and jeans to every occasion. That said everything about fashion entices me. I have steadily followed it for 12 years now, and still surprise people with how much I know. Let's just say you don't have to dress the part to know the lines.  Anyway, from now on I will try and stick to fashion, and sarcastic humour. I hope you enjoy lovelies!

girageufbgjfb oahrihgtrftgbfsjkhjkbhs

Most of you prolly know who this is. This is Ashley TIsdale. From High School Musical. And you're prolly thinking, "Oh what a cutie! An adorable teen" WRONGGGGG! She is almost 30!!! Look at how she`s dressing! My 18 year old sister doesn`t dress like that! Gah. This bothers me in ways I can`t fully articulate. I spose the moral of the story is ACT YOUR AGE!!!!! Because even though she acts 17 in HSM, she is not actually 17.

I'm Lazy and I Cry too Much

So this is a fashion blog, not a mental health blog. But even more than both of those, this is my blog and so I am going to talk what I want to talk about. Today I am going to talk about me. Selfish, I know. However, I wanna do it and I'm going to.

Life is hard. I know you're prolly staring at your screen thinking "no shit Sherlock". But I leave my statement as it is. Life is hard. And for some people, it's harder than others. In 7th grade I was diagnosed with OCD Anxiety disorder and co-morbid depression. I was a psychologists wet dream. No pun intended. I've had some dark days, as cliched as that sounds. I've hit absolute rock bottom, and there have been times where I almost didn't get out. And I am sure you all know what I mean.

Obviously depression isn't a one size fits all thing, and you don't have it every day of your life. It comes and goes. For the past year and a half I've been perpetually depressed. Just completely broken down. My motivation is just gone. It has just completely and totally disappeared. Waking up and getting out of bed seems impossible every single morning. I have a great family and an amazing boyfriend. He gives me absolutely everything, and how do I repay him??? I sit around being morose, treating him like crap.

What is the point of this post? Am I trying to bring you all down with tales of my woe? Am I trying to berate myself and make anyone who is depressed seem like a low life? Absolutely not. But as I started off with, life is hard, and it's harder for some people than it is others. I, however, am not one with a particularily hard life. I'm 20 years old. I'm overweight, but I'm pree healthy. I live in a nice house with my family, I go to university full time while my parents work hard and pay my tuition. I have a good job, and some good friends. I have nice clothes, and lots of other nice things that I don't need to survive, but absolutely love having. I have a bright future, and I have a boyfriend who loves me more than anything and is happy to share it with me.

No matter how down; how depressed and low I feel, I have absolutely no reason to give up. So I guess the point of this is to help other girls or even guys like me. I'm not promising every day is going to be awsome. I can't say that there won't be days ya jus wanna throw in the towel and hide in your bed. I know pillows are more appealing than people sometimes. But always try and find some things that are great about your life. Always try and think about the things that keep you going. If you don't have any then try and find some. You'll need them. We all do. They might not all be amazing boyfriends, but there can be something for everyone.

Oh Hilarity

I found this on a humour blog:

I thought it was so funny. And actually so true. After wearing my pumps for  an hour, I have expected my toes to come out looking like that.

The World is Coming to an End and my Car is Satan

Ashton Kutcher is slated to play Steve Jobs in an Indie flick called "Jobs".  I don't want to live on this planet anymore. Like come on!

A guy wearing a shirt with his own name on it???????????? 

Let us be honest; people love this giant asshole. But let us be honest again; he can act just about as well as I can keep my opinions to myself. And he is going to play the cofounder of one of the cornerstones of personal entertainment that is Apple? What is this bloody planet coming to? I dunno, maybe they should have Adam Levine playing Bill bloody Gates file they're at it! I'm sure he'd bring just as much to the role as this talentless model-turned actor can! I can picture it now; 

Begin Scene: Steve Jobs (Kutcher) at an unveiling for the Apple iPhone 4. Black auditorium, black turtleneck, mom jeans, and big white sneakers. He turns to display his wonderfully crafted beacon of hope then BAM! Puts his hand on his hip, rips the turtleneck off, gives the crowd the Magnum and starts strutting down the stage. COME ON PEOPLE!!!! WE ALL SAW WHAT HAPPENED WITH ROSIE HUNTINGTON WHITELEY IN TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!!!! I have no faith in humanity. I am going to bury myself in a nice airless sand pit so I can slowly asphyxiate to death. 

Oh, and my car is satan. I thought you should know.

Women Translation

So almost none of you probably know this, but I am a huge fan of memes like Megusta, Forever Alone, and the Lol guy. And then on a completely unrelated note, my dad was saying that he's confused by my mothers behaviour and she must just be hormonal. So, to bring these 2 unrelated topics together, here is a woman's monthly moods in memes!

Month Starts Here:

Month Ends Now.

Enjoy!

Shoesies

So, up until this point I have been strictly against prostitution. Absolutely, I have never agreed with it. Then I saw these:

Email me any time!! I'm a size 10!!