Halloween

Here is the plan. I wear this outfit on halloween. Following? Then my boyfriend asks me what I am. Here is how  the conversation would go:

Robyn: Hey Matt! I love your costume!

Matt: Aw thanks Robyn! You look... uh... what are you exactly?

Robyn: You can't tell??!?!?!?!?!

Matt: Hmmmmm *cue chewing of the inside of his lip which he does when he thinks*

Robyn: kk fine, I will tell you. I though it was obvious. Oh well. I am a parachuter from Siberia! Why else would I have this harness thingy with all these carabiner type things over a razy thick wool blazer?!?!?! Oh, and I didn't want to be a male Siberian parachuter so I used some blue silky stuff in between my legs so I have a silky blue penis thing goin on! How did you not get that?

Matt: ... I am going to get a beer *cue Matt walking to  refrigerator wondering what he ever saw in this bizarre blonde girl we call Robyn*