Change

Some people change. Some people don't. Some people live up to your expectations. Some don't. Some promise you they won't let you down. And they don't <3. But some promise they won't let you down. And they do.

And it's hard bec you know they will. You know it is coming. It is only just a matter of time. But they deny it. They deny and deny and deny and they tell you they're different. They tell you they're not going to change. Next thing you know, you're completely shut out. A victim of getting your hopes up I guess.

Oh well? Does that work? Can I shrug my shoulders and act like it doesn't matter? Like I don't care? Ya! I totally can! Damn, are you kidding me? I do! I go every single day with this plastic smile saying I'm fine, it doesn't matter. But it does! It hurts. She leaves and says when she comes back life will be exactly the same. And I am stupid. Bec I believed it. I told myself not to. But I couldn't help it! Every person you love does this to you... well all but one. Then you get scared it's only a matter of time for them too. But no. I trust you. You're not like the others. You care. You're not using me like the others did.

You listen to me. You cheer me up. You give me endless hugs. You put your arm on my shoulder and make me smile when others can't. Please don't ever change.

As for the rest of you, I spose I hav nothing but thanks. Thatsound weird? I know. But thank you. Thank you for helping me learn how to deal with this. Thank you for helping me build some defenses. Thank you for helping me to learn at pretending not to care. Thank you for the tears which have saved my pillow cases a couple of washings. And thank you for making the one shining star in my life sparkle that much more.