An Epiphany

So I had quite the epiphany. Now, I did not have this in a quick moment, but rather over an extended period of time.

So, I have prolly mentioned it here or there in a few different posts, but I am not a thin person. I am not fat, but I am what my mother says "average". I think I am slightly overweight and thats I think the best way to put it. Anyways, I have been in a constant, never ending battle with food since grade 2... age 7. It has been a long 11 years, let me tell you. I worried that people would think I was ugly, and let me tell you, I got called almost every single name that is even slightly related to "fat". And it hurt. I started seriously hard-core dieting in grade 7, when I was 11. I have tried so many different diets trying my damndest to lose weight. All my friends used to talk about their weight, the thinnest was 130 lbs, the heaviest (other then me mind you) was 160. And I felt horrible bec I wasn't in that range. I have tried starving, rationing, almost everything, but I could not get in that weight range. Now, here are the essential points to my epiphany:

• All my friends are shorter then 5' 7"... I am 5' 10"
• People have variable bone densities which contribute to one's weight
• I eat really healthily
• My family, my friends, and my boyfriend think I look beautiful the way I am now.
• I am really muscular. And I don't have rolls or mondo bulges.
• All my clothes fit (except for the occasional too big pair of jeans)

Life is too short to try and match everyone else's weight. I like food, and instead of cutting out and obsessing about a number I cannot reach, I have realized that I just need to do everything in moderation. I eat well, I excercise, and, ya know what? I think I look ok! I like the way my legs look (sometimes). And I don't mind that my bum kinda sticks out; at least I don't have a flat cracker butt! Ya, I have hips, and I wouldn't trade them for the world! This is the way I am. And if people are going to judge me or not talk to me because they don't like how I look, why the helicopter would I want to be friends with them anyway? No, I am never going to be as thin as my sister is. But I am also not going to look like Rita McNeil either. I am me. This is who I am, this is how I look. And I would be quite content to just maintain my current weight, or whatever the proper weight for my height, body type and age is.

Hopefully my moments of realization can help you. I know I am not the only person who has these kinds of issues, so the best of luck to anyone like me.

<3 Robyn