Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Tips To Live Your Life By

Hey loves!!! So I have decided that the some of the knowledge I have acquired in my lifetimes worth enough to share. Enjoy!

1. This is my number one tip; the most important. Orange was not created to wear. It was created to eat!!!
2. There is no woe that Adele or Switchfoot cannot fix.
3. Soundproofing is a myth. If you start singing at the top of your lungs in a "soundproof" racquetball court, people will hear you.
4. If you have to ask if it makes you look fat, it probably makes you look fat.
5. If you want a boy to ask you out, tell him you want him to. Give him your number and a strict outline.
6. Crocs are a backyard shoe. Unless you have a backyard without a fence. Then crocs are a no go.
7. Nothing good comes of wearing something without underwear.
8. An extension of 7; Skinny jeans don't make you look skinny if you're fat.
9. Always pluck your brows when you have the next day off.
10. Don't shave your upper thighs. EVER. Once you start, those babies never stop growing.
11. If someone makes a sexual innuendo and you don't get it, DO NOT ASK!!! Google it when you get home.
12. Don't try to be funny. You're either funny or you're not. If you are it will come naturally. If you're not you're SOL. 
13. If you're wearing your fat jeans, a boys tee-shirt, wool socks, no make up, and your hair in a tippity top fuzzy pony tail, and your man tells you you look beautiful... MARRY HIM!!!
14. The way to a man's heart is through baking. Nothing says "I love you" better than a vanilla chocolate strawberry cake. 
15. Even if you say it a billion times, always tell your significant other you love them when you think of it. They'll always appreciate it.
16. Just because it looks good on a hanger doesn't mean it will look good on you; TRY IT ON!!!
17. An extension of 16; do not buy something no matter how many pounds you plan to lose. IF IT DOESN'T FIT DON'T BUY IT!!!
18. No one will be more honest than your sister. If ya don't have one, then you're on your own.
19. Chocolate is never the answer. Ice cream and chocolate is.
20. Nothing will cheer you up better than laughing at poorly dressed ugly people. Sad, but true.
21. Fashion is of the moment, but style never changes.
22. Stupidity is never a cute thing. Even if the person you're trying to impress is stupid.
23. If your meal choice on a date carries even the slightest risk of diarrhea or gas DO NOT ORDER IT!!!!!!
24. An extension of 23; DO NOT GO #2 IN PUBLIC IF AT ALL POSSIBLE!!! EVERRRRR
25. Nothing aggravates a person more than telling them to calm down.
26. If ya don't want other people to hear it, don't say it.
27. Never mock someones car. They may just run you over.
28. DO NOT start minecraft, temple run, angry birds, or robot unicorn attack if you have any goals for your future. 
29. Anyone that likes Justin Bieber just wants to watch the world burn.
30. An Apple product, no matter what it is or how much it costs, is a better buy than the competing product.

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