Dear M***

You you you you you you you. You! This is for you! You know who you are. I am sure most do, but I know you do!

I'm not even sure I know what to say. But I saw a picture today and the force made me :D.

Lets start with that. Simple things. Like how much cool stuff you have brought into my life! Edo Japan! The Force! Motherboards! Kick Ass! NIN! Apple Products! They seem so little. So either or. Like they don't make a difference. But they do. They occupy a chunk of my heart and my brain where only you have property. And it seems trivial. Life would still go on if I had not heard NIN or seen Russell Brand make the fat guy with curly hair shove drugs up his ass, or munched on Edo. But I am different! Not because I respond strongly to perfectly seasoned, sauteed mushrooms, but because for me they are a part of you. They're a small piece of you and you shared them with me. And I share things with you! Things which until now were locked up in a lil Japanese puzzle box. And only you know how to open it. Cliche? Oh yes. For sure. But I roll that way and I know you like it.

And music! My sweet love, MUSIC! It haunts me. Or rather, tempts me. Because every love song ever written was for you! Every song describing fairy tales, perfect situations, and general things life should include are about you! Taylor Swift, Daughtry, Radiohead, Nickelback, they all write songs about you! Funny how that works, ya? I thought so too. I tried, for a while, writing down lyrics that made me think of you... but I ran out of notebook paper. Tragic. Really truly.

Movies too are different. That perfect moment, when the hero and heroine finally kiss, everyone feels so complete, because although the plot holes have not been plugged, the main characters; the parts of the movie we respond to, have finally been made whole! But I enjoy that moment differently! Because guess what! When Bella grabs Edward, or Hermione grabs Ron (oh, we knew it was coming!), or Prince Charming grabs Cinderella I don't think "man those cartoon lips look funny" or "omigoodness a glowing vampire? Really?"... I think "hehehe my guy is so much better then Edward" and "I know Prince Charming's lips can't feel as good as yours".

Let us delve deeper! My hands fit perfectly in yours. And you give the most wonderful hugs. And even when you accidentally graze my arm I get goosebumps! And I am never truly relaxed until I'm smushed up right beside ya. And you laugh at my lame jokes. And you look at me; you observe me. You think I don't see you. I do. And I love it. I see the smile in your eyes, and the way your lips turn upward. Your eyes get soft too. And I look at you. You know it. But you let me also. And my eyes go over everything. Your soft eyes, your rounded cheek bones, your stubble, and your perfect straight nose. I like how you have little give aways. Nibbling on the innside of your lips, furrowing your eyebrow, stroking your chin, or playing with your fingers. I don't really have those. You just know. You see me staring out the window of the bus, and you know something is wrong. But you pretend you believe me when I say I am fine.

You let me steal kisses, and you let ,e steal hugs. Because, my dear, I am a goob and that is half of what you like about me :). Because for the first time in my life I am not afraid for someone to see me.

I give in sometimes too , ya know? I try and categorize what I feel, or peg it down and label it. And I freak you out when I do, because I use words we aren't ready to use. But I don't know what I feel! And ya know what else? I don't think anyone else does. I think love isn't a uniform feeling that people feel at one time. I think love is this; the fact that Dr. Pepper is fizzier when I drink it with you. Pizza is cheesier when we eat it together. Music sounds better, and movies make more sense. My favourite blogis more relateable. Puppies are cuter, and I feel safer. I look better, and somehow, my boobs even out in size. How does that work? Is that better? I think the word love was created so that people wouldn't have to spit out that entire paragraph whenever they're overcome with how amazingly lucky they are to be dating the most amazingly perfect person in the world. I know I would get tongue tied. And, there is always something new to add! Jokes are funnier, books are more mysterious, chocolate milk is more chocolatey, and vodka doesn't have the same strong yucky aftertaste! Work and school are easier to get through, friends are not so troubling, and global warming is not something we have to worry about! Life is better with you. Things in general are better. I am better. And I don't ever want that to go away. So this picture, the one that inspired this nonsensical, extremely long, mildly confusing post; this is for you...